yes I talk to myself
Something peculiar happened yesterday. I went to have dinner with my mom and stopped by her place after work, roughly around 6-7. It had to be 7 because I never leave work at 6. I was parked, and I just had this sudden pang of emotions hit me. I just totally thought of my dad. There was this wall that that he used to exercise near. He used it to brace himself in case he fell, which was why he liked the wall. So I was walking by the walk towards my mom’s and I really felt as if he was there, so here I am admitting I do this (but I’m sure others do it too, so I’m not entirely crazy). I turned to my right and I said hi dad, I love you. Then sort of chuckled, wondering if other people do this. Anyways, to make along story short, a friend of mine’s father passed away. I didn’t find out until the day after, and I just thought it was just very peculiar that I think the time of his passing was just about the time I had this surge of emotions go through me.
I can’t explain it, it could just be coincidence. The 1 year anniversary of my father’s passing is coming up very soon, and it may be because subconsciously I’m thinking of him a lot. Whenever I’m stuck with a problem doing car stuff, I always ask his advice. Lol, yeah silly, but we do what we do to get by in this crazy world I guess. Anyways, wanted to wish Mr. Lai a safe journey, may you rest in peace.
I went home today and there’s a picture of my dad where I put some of his stuff on. I can’t believe it, I still have the pictures that we put up on the boards from the funeral. It still hasn’t hit me, that it has been a year. But I haven’t taken them down yet. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. But I told him, that he has a new friend up there. I’m sure they’ll both get a long just fine.
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying says that death is the graduation ceremony, while living is just a long course in learning and preparing for the next journal.