Monthly Archives: April 2011

Graduation day is near

Death is the graduation ceremony, while living is just a long course in learning and preparing for the next journey.

-The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

The anniversary of my father’s passing is almost here. It has almost been one year. I must admit, it’s gone by pretty quickly. Not a single day goes by that some random event in life reminds me of him. To celebrate life, and his passing, my mom and getting an RV, and taking a tour around the country (sort of speak). My mom and my cousin the RV and are traveling across the country. I’m taking 3 days off of work (5 days including weekends) to join her during the first leg of her trip, and flying back in Colorado. I think it’ll be fun. I’m looking forward to just relaxing, and taking pictures, living in the moment.

Speaking of living in the moment, a friend of mine’s dad recently passed away from Cancer. At his funeral, I think took home one valuable lesson. Celebrate life, and during the course of your own journey, treat everyone equally, whether they be a pauper or a king. Because you can’t escape the laws of physics. –What goes up, must always come down– and when you’re on your way down. If you treated people with dignity, respect, and integrity all throughout your journey…then you will be rewarded, and your life will be enriched. I’ve only met her dad two times, but am thankful that he has taught me this lesson.

I must admit, back in the day, I used to be a complete egotistical jerk. (ok, don’t laugh, a lot of people still think I am one! lol) I had a huge chip on my shoulder, with an elitist attitude towards everyone. We thought we were untouchable, and were better than everyone else. Thankfully, age, experience, and going through life has tempered that, and I think I’m way more humble, and way more self deprecating than ever. (My wife may disagree lol), but in all seriousness I’m not the same person I was 15 years ago, and I think hopefully I’m headed towards the path for the better. I don’t judge people as much anymore. (Note I say ‘as much’, as I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t). I’m the first to admit I’m not perfect.

Despite everything, I think I’ve come a long way since I first started this blog three years ago. I had just received news that my dad just received a death sentence. I think I did lose a little bit of myself, but that part of my soul that became empty is no finally start to heal. I’m more accepting. More forgiving. And filled with more compassion towards everyone than ever before.

With that I’ll share this nifty little tune from SIXX A.M. titled “Life is Beautiful”.

“Life is Beautiful”
I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

yes I talk to myself

Something peculiar happened yesterday. I went to have dinner with my mom and stopped by her place after work, roughly around 6-7. It had to be 7 because I never leave work at 6. I was parked, and I just had this sudden pang of emotions hit me. I just totally thought of my dad. There was this wall that that he used to exercise near. He used it to brace himself in case he fell, which was why he liked the wall. So I was walking by the walk towards my mom’s and I really felt as if he was there, so here I am admitting I do this (but I’m sure others do it too, so I’m not entirely crazy). I turned to my right and I said hi dad, I love you. Then sort of chuckled, wondering if other people do this. Anyways, to make along story short, a friend of mine’s father passed away. I didn’t find out until the day after, and I just thought it was just very peculiar that I think the time of his passing was just about the time I had this surge of emotions go through me.

I can’t explain it, it could just be coincidence. The 1 year anniversary of my father’s passing is coming up very soon, and it may be because subconsciously I’m thinking of him a lot. Whenever I’m stuck with a problem doing car stuff, I always ask his advice. Lol, yeah silly, but we do what we do to get by in this crazy world I guess. Anyways, wanted to wish Mr. Lai a safe journey, may you rest in peace.

I went home today and there’s a picture of my dad where I put some of his stuff on. I can’t believe it, I still have the pictures that we put up on the boards from the funeral. It still hasn’t hit me, that it has been a year. But I haven’t taken them down yet. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. But I told him, that he has a new friend up there. I’m sure they’ll both get a long just fine.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying says that death is the graduation ceremony, while living is just a long course in learning and preparing for the next journal.