fondness

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Chrissie set aside some flowers that we received around a photo of my dad. I think lately everything reminds me of him. I did a ton of yard work this weekend, and I was reminded of the time I wanted to throw a party and my mom and dad was outside, cleaning up the yard to prepare for it. The room downstairs in my house remind me of him. I don’t know how people do it. I guess what helps is now instead of just breaking down into tears, I just smile because I remember the fond happy memories.

People would tell me stories of how much he loved me, and I guess I get sad because towards the end. I was a bit busy so I didn’t visit as often as I should have.
Reminds me of this cure song I really like titled “Cut Here”


…So dizzy Mr Busy – Too much rush to talk to Billy
All the silly frilly things have to first get done
In a minute – sometime soon –
maybe next time – make it june
Until later…
doesn’t always come

It’s so hard to think
“It ends sometime
And this could be the
last
I should really hear you sing
again And I should really watch you dance”
Because it’s hard to think
“I’ll never get another chance
To hold you… to
hold you… ”

But chilly Mr Dilly – Too
much rush to talk to Billy
All the tizzy fizzy
idiot things must get done
In a second – just
hang on – all in good time – wont be long
Until later…

I should’ve stopped
to think – I should’ve made the time
I could’ve had that drink – I could’ve talked a while
I would’ve done it right – I would’ve moved us
on But I didn’t – now it’s all too late
It’s over… over
And you’re
gone..

Speaking of favorites, I was so upset. I had no idea my dad loved Pat Boone. He never told me, I would of given him discs and music he could listen to. But my mom told me he really loved his music. Mr. Boone also sang a lot of Christmas tunes, so I guess in a way the pieces all fit. Before the end, I tried to soothe him by singing Christmas tunes. The first Enlish song I learned (in 1st grade), Rudolph The Red-nosed reindeer, silent night, and jingle bells. They were the only three that really popped into my head, so I repeated them over and over again. I don’t know, I think about it a lot.

We came to this Country as 5 people, back in ’82. My grandfather, mom, dad, my brother, and myself. And now we are down to three. I guess I better start whipping out the kids soon!

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About greenbeanfx

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Posted on June 1, 2010, in Game Of Life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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