Ahhh…for once, I think it feels good to do absolutely nothing. I’ve taken the rest of the year off of work, so I’ve spent the past feel days just unwinding, and doing absolutely nothing. I’ve been catching up on some video games, doing a little reading, and watching some movies. Recently, I’ve watched Julia & Julia. It was my wife’s choice and at first I really wasn’t interested in it, but the movie grew on me. It was actually the first time I really took note of the cinematography. Not the landscapes, or anything, but particularly, the lighting.

Maybe it’s because most of the movies out there try to be dark and brooding for anyone to notice. Julie & Julia was was very well lit, and I’ve noticed it in a lot of scenes. To the point where I literally just stare at it in awe and fascination. Mostly what goes in my head during such scenes is, “Wow, this scene is very well lit!” or “whoa, that looks like a really nice photo, how did they light it that way?” The only way I can describe it is, it’s like a photography done very well from a technical point of view. Not necessarily the composition or the photo, but just the lighting of the faces or the clothes. I’m not sure if it’s just the combination of dynamic range and lighting, spurred on by the digital age where these things just couldn’t be done with traditional film? I don’t even have any idea how this particular film was shot (whether they used digital cameras or not), so I’m not even going to pretend to venture into that area, but it is my understanding that a traditional film is shot basically by cameras that must follow the same rules of lighting as regular 35mm film. The director of photography has to deal with the same lighting hassles, the same fstops and film speed, grain, etc. Only his/her job is exacerbated by the fact that people and things are constantly in motion in the scene. So kudos to them, and kudos to the fine technical work they’ve done. It actually almost inspired me to go out and take pictures again. Note the word ‘almost’. Heh, it’s waay to cold outside, and I’m still enjoying my ‘doing nothing’ moments. =)

On a different topic, my mom is throwing a holiday party in two days, so I’m looking forward to taking pictures (mostly of my dad), but it will be an opportunity for the family to get together and I guess I’ll whip out the good ole tripod to do family photos. Merry Christmas everyone!

-nl

Woo, as of today 12-12-09, my flickr account has had 243,518 views. Not much in the whole scheme of things, but it’s big numbers to me!

Nothing much has been going on as of late. I’ve been uber busy with work. I called my dad today to wish him well. The conversation went something like this:
(translated to English from Vietnamese of course)

me: “Hi dad, how are you feeling?”
dad: “I’m good”
me: “I miss you, sorry I’ve been busy haven’t had a chance to see you”
dad: “You miss me? where do you put it when you miss me”
me: “In my heart of course!”
dad: (laughs) “good good”.

That was pretty much it, I wanted to be sure he was still following his exercise and therapy regime. He is still under 125lbs (56.7kilos) so the Dr refuses to do chemotherapy on him. So we’re waiting of him to gain some weight. He’s been given medicine to boost up his appetite.

So work was busy, but I’m glad I had time to take pics of a very cute baby “Paloma”, her parents visited from Spain these past weeks and booked a photo session. Initially it was postponed due to rain, but the Sat that we did it had some very cold weather. But I think we made it through ok.

I’m a sucker for dad photos with their kids. Fernando was carrying Paloma towards the photo site, and I pretty much walked beside them and grabbed this shot.

The shoot went on schedule at around the 1hr mark. Babies attention spans usually wear thin if you go any any further. Traditionally, I like to use natural lighting for the shoots. Flashes are distracting to the babies, and I doubt any good for their young eyes. I think at one point I had this teddy bear on top of my lens, just to try to get Paloma to laugh.

She didn’t fall for it, but I think the teddy bear did make my gigantoid camera look less menacing.

I think shooting young tots is akin to shooting pets. They’re very very unpredictable, and you can’t get any expression out of then. Since it’s so random, you pretty much have to have the camera on ready at all times. Or else you’ll miss a look or an expression that will occur only for a brief second, and it will be too late to capture it.

Also I think with kids, since they cry 60% of the time, it’s good to capture those moments as well. Because everyone has pictures of themselves as a kid smiling or looking cute, it’s the natural moments in life, where they’re crying or needing and wanting attention. Now that’s real life, and that’s what parents will cherish the most when they’re all grown up and eschewing their parents. Wanting to be dropped off a block away from school because they don’t want to be seen being taken to school by their mum or dad.

I remember I used to be very nervous the day before. I used to lose sleep over them, going through in my head in meticulous detail what shots I wanted, and how I intended to get them. I quickly realized things you plan very rarely works out in reality. So now I approach them like I would be any other day at work.

I analyze the environment, pick out the best spot given the conditions and just let things just happen. If need be, I’ll nudge things along. “try standing here, try standing there, lets do this”. The only pre-planning would be what camera and lenses to bring the day before. With short shoots, bringing too much equipment is a real burden. So I stuck with a simple two camera, 3 lens approach. I knew it would be outdoors, so a 70-200 for family portraits, and the rest would be closeup of the babies. (35mm, and 85mm)

“Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children.”
-The Crow

Had a very good Thanksgiving this year. Our family went to HealthSouth, the physical rehabilitation hospital he’s been staying at for this past week. We all sat down and enjoyed an Asian Thanksgiving lunch! By Asian, we eschewed the traditional turkey and went for rice cakes, pork, buns, with flan and the round sesame mung balls for dessert! I decided to go ‘old school’ and take my film camera with me, so there aren’t pics to be posted yet until I complete all 24 exposures and get them developed. Something about this Thansgiving made me decided to go with the physical tangible film, instead of digital. I guess I could always print digital copies, but we rarely ever do. They sit in my hard drives forever, and with film. Well, they get developed, and will be there for me to remember them for years to come.

But I did take my dinky little hand held video camera. I’m just really bummed that the sound wasn’t so good, so I didn’t get a chance to record him saying prayer at the table. It’s something I think I will cherish much later on, so I’m going to have to record that when he gets better and goes home.

It’s a bit interesting, I’ve been doing either morning or afternoon shifts hanging out there and feeding him either during breakfast, or dinner time. He looks healthy here in the vid, but Cancer is an interesting disease. You have good days, and you have bad days. Not to say that he’s at that point where he’s in pain during the bad days, but he just looks tired, and you can tell in his eyes. I really just want to say don’t give up hope, fight it. You’ve gone this far, just keep on fighting!

But yeah, I must admit sometimes I’m tired, and I don’t want to do my shifts, but I guess I do it, and trudge on because I do think it is a privilege and an honor to be able to take care of a loved one. Either feeding, or helping him use the restroom, I think it is entirely true. When you’re born, you’re pretty helpless, and towards the end of life, you do revert back to that state. And it is how you lived your life, and how well you teach and raise your kids (if you had any), that will determine whether or not you’re leaving this world lonely. Or among friends and family who will be there to take care of you.

After I feed him, every night, he’d ask to give me a kiss, one on each cheek. (He used to say if he only gave me one I’d be lop-sided, so he’d have to give me two just to balance myself out). I think every time he does this, I pretty much have to man up and be strong, because I almost break every single time. It’s real because I really don’t know how many more times left I’ll get to hear it.

I know I quote this a gazillion times, but it does seem apropos, so I’ll quote it a gazillion and one times!

“Because we don’t know when we will die,
we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well,
yet everything happens only a certain number of times,
and a very small number, really.

- Paul Bowles. The Sheltering Sky

Today I volunteered to take photos for an organization run by my friend called charitable chef. It was at a home up in LA, the family donated 5k to helping homeless children obtain shelter, education, and medical relief, etc. What they get is a chef to come to their residence and cook them a meal. I guess where I come in would be to help the organization get pics for their website. I’d volunteer to cook, but I don’t think people want to pay a lot of money to get cup o’ noodles or boiled eggs, so I’ll stick to what I do best (or try to do best), which is take pictures.

What’s interesting, is I’ve watched cooking shows on TV, and of course I’ve witnessed my mom and my wife cook at home. But it’s casual cooking. I’ve never experienced first hand how a life in a real working kitchen is like. I find that it is surprisingly similar to a photographer’s working environment (Under the stipulation that you are a traveling chef and have to do these sorts of things at other people’s homes, not just in your controlled kitchen environment).

They’re standing up all day, trying to work under time constraints and pressure, all while trying to make their food look and taste good. To top that off, they’re restricted to the kitchen environment that they are in. If the stove or broiler can’t get hot enough? If they run out of ingredients and are scrambling to find sugar in the household? The main chef has to made alternative decisions based on a constantly changing work environment, and asking the assistant/secondary chef to take care of this and that. Barking orders, managing time, and just trying to get the job done. That’s pretty much how photography works.

We can’t choose the environment we are called to work in. Some days, it’s a well lit, beautiful location, while other times, it’s dark and the the weather is very cloudy, and it just isn’t ideal for shooting. But generally on the field, I have a certain look I try to achieve, I try to get my assistant/second to achieve those shots. And usually if they work with me long enough, they know what I want ahead of time (Which is why as in any profession, having competent, trustworthy team members is key to any organization) You have to trust them, and they have to trust you.

The kitchen has a hierarchy:

• main chef (main photographer),
• sous-chef — second in command– (second photography)
• the food preppers and/or dishwashers (light holders and equipment carriers)
• on occasion, you get the super overseer chef that determines the menu items for the day. I suppose that can be analogous to a creative director in photography land.

But I’ve never really worked with a creative directory, usually as the main photographer, you have to play the that role. Though I would love the opportunity to work with one. I think it will better hone my skills. Sometimes you’re just so busy trying to nail the technical aspects of it down and not screw up the shot, you forget the little details within the shot. And as the old saying goes, “the devil is in the details”.

But it was fun, just to hang around and observe the process. I had the easy job, all I did was take a few pictures!

Well here’s a pic of my dad on Sun when Chrissie, and my niece Rose visited him.  He was doing fine, he said he was a bit scared of going into surgery, but I think it simply had to be done. He was in good spirits, when they took him to the ICU a few days back, it was interesting. He was pretty much laying there in his bed, and he wasn’t sure if it was going to be the last time, so he kind of outlined his regrets in life.  He started to choke up and almost cry when he said that I should really try to get a long with my brother.  I promised him I would do so, it’s not that I don’t get a long with him, it’s just that his temperament and attitude makes it hard for people to get along with him.  Anyways, so I guess he was in a very contemplative sort of mood.

He looks quite chipper and with his beanie.  He’s wearing a  beanie because with the chemo and everything he started losing a lot of hair.  My goofy niece whom I love dearly drove down from the 909 (riverside) to visit him.

Today he went in at around 7am, for surgery to remove the three tumors in his head.  My mom got to see him before he went under, and she told me he said, “If I don’t come out of this…I wanted to say Thank you”.   Which I thought was very sweet of him.   They’ve been married for a gazillion years, and sometimes he drives her crazy, and she sometimes drives him bonkers, but at the end of the day, they are husband and wife, and they love each other, through thick and thin.    After waiting for a very long time, the Dr. came out and said it went well.  It took longer than expected because the big tumor was the size of a small fist, and he had to be really really careful around that area of the brain.   I think after 48 hrs in post op, I’ll officially declare him out of the woods.  He’s lost a bit of blood and requires a transfusion, but this is nowhere near like last time, where he was in septic shock, required dialysis, the whole nine yards.

We visited him in the ICU a few hrs after the operation.  He seemed somewhat alert, knew that Obama is the president, knows he’s in the hospital, etc.  He was fuzzy as to whether or not the surgery took place.   Note the gigantoid bandage behind his head in the pic below.

I think it went well, I hope he gets function back to his arms and legs after this.  The tumor was blocking and squishing other parts of his brain.   Wow, I’m really thankful there are people out there who pursue medicine, and even go as far up as neurosurgeon.  I mean, that is a long, tough road to travel, and if it weren’t for people who sacrifice themselves for that sort of work, people like my Dad wouldn’t be around today.   I was almost ashamed as to what I do for a living after being in that hospital for awhile.  I grabbed a volunteer pamphlet and emailed the lady there to see if I can do anything to help out.   

It’s just a very humbling feeling, when you’re surrounded by sick or dying people. Just earlier in the ICU waiting room, there was a very young lady there who was talking on the phone.  I couldn’t help but to listen in on the conversation, and she said her husband or brother (not sure what the relation is) had a massive heart attack.  What’s the catch?  He is only 31 years old.  Can you believe that?  It’s just insane, so I’ve had renewed interest in trying to volunteer again to something other than myself, to build up that karma.

Surgery is a tricky subject, but this time around it was planned and scheduled, which is always a good thing.  The last time my dad was int he surgery room, it was most definitely a life and death procedure, and he was fighting for this life with a very low chance of survival.  This time, well, there’s still a 10% chance his heart could give out, but it’s something our family decided we needed to do.   As of 07:00 this morning, my dad went in for brain surgery to remove 2 tumors in his brain.  (One of which was pressing into the tissue causing weakness and loss of motor functions on his left extremities.  Radiation and Chemo didn’t really work to supress it, so surgery is our best option.  Last time when we knew about it, we were going to do surgery as well, but one of the doctors in the panel dissuaded us stating the risk to his heart.  (Of course he we later found out he is also a naysayer).   The primary Dr. who is in charge said it it was his dad, he would do the operation.  So that really assured us that it was the right thing to do.

I’ve visited him in the ICU and the day prior,  and I think I’ve made my peace.  It’s funny, in a way, as morbid as it sounds and I hope it never happens, but if it were to happen, and he was destined to go, I think I would rather it be in the operating room floor.  I’ve watched as my Aunt passsed away, and I know the mind shuts down in these matters, but it is still very painful it seems.  Whereas in surgery, you’re under anesthesia and to my best estimation, it would be as if you’ve passed in your sleep.  No long drawn good byes, there isn’t the waiting period between this world and the next.  So yeah, I think if I were to be able to talk to my dad right this instant.  I’d say, Thank you for being the most wonderful, smart, caring, nurturing man.  It’s been a blast, and I will do my best to make you proud.  See ya on the other side.”

And that would be it.   Anyways, so getting ready to head back into the hospital should anything arise.   Just wanted to remind everyone, we’re all on borrowed time.  Make it a good stay.

I’ve been meaning to drive down to take pictures of just what’s out there for the longest time. But laziness mostly got in my way. I remember back in the day when I first got my camera, I would just take my car and go exploring O.C. I would just drive down to the Tustin marketplace to take pictures of the signs at night, take a cruise down random parks to try to find bugs. Then it all sort of stopped. I still like taking pictures, but the exploration and the drive to do it as a hobby simply stopped.
Today I told Chrissie I think I’ll just drive down to the beach and take some photos. I really can’t remember the last time I just wanted to go out and take pictures for the sake of doing it. So I’m really glad i got the chance to see the sun setting. It was really fun and liberating to just drive down PCH, park and walk around with a camera to take pictures.

The shot below I walked a little deeper into the waves to take a picture of this rock as the sun was setting. I brought along three lenses in a bag, and I’ve decided next time that’s a big mistake. I’ll just take one and not think about changing anything. I was more worried about the bag getting wet from the waves than the camera! The bag nor the lenses I had inside were not weather sealed, so it actually held me back. I was literally waste deep in water for this shot.

And to just explore nature and her little quirks. For instance this rock has a little target written on it. I should of kept it as a keepsake, but it really was there. It wasn’t some kid drawing on the rock with a marker.

As the sun was finally setting, I started to focus my attention the rocks. I was very curious about the reflections of the water. I knew I would have about 20-30 minutes of light left to do anything. So I kept on trying to take the reflection shots, but realized the sky didn’t have any clouds today. So there really wasn nothing to reflect.

But it was a very fun little excursion. I think the last time I was at this beach was when my friend Neil and I woke are butts up at 5AM to drive out to the beach to try to get a picture of the sunrise. Ahhh… maybe I’ll do that next time.

Today, In the mail, I received my Canon EC-S focusing screen. What you ask? Is an Ec-S focusing screen? Well the marketing geniuses at Canon label’s its features as:

• Focusing screen features super precision matte
• Essential for manual focusing shots
• Makes it easy to determine the precise point of the sharpest focus

In laymens terms, it is essentially a 40 dollar piece of plastic, no larger than the size of a quarter, that allows geeky photographers to take pictures using old ass lenses that can’t auto-focus( or super crazy macro lenses ).

Which begs the question. “What idiot would go and waste $40 dollars on a tiny piece of plastic?” ….As the room goes silent, only one idiot raises his hand. Yes, that idiot, would be none other than yours truly.

Installation was pretty straight forward. You open up your camera and poke at the top to release the focusing screen housing.

Just be very careful to try to perform this action in a relatively dust free environment, and be sure to clean your hands. Otherwise, bad things will happen to your sensor. You use the handy dandy tool that comes with the Ec-S screen to take the original focusing screen out, and replace it with the shiny new focusing screen.

Snap the housing back in place, and plop a lens back onto your camera. Note: The EC-S is can technically only be used on a 1DIIN, 1DIII, 1DsIII and a few higher end film bodies from Canon. The reason is you need to go into the custom functions of the camera and inform it that you are using the Ec-S screen so that the light meter can recalibrate itself to the darker screen. Darker screen you say? Yes…once installed you will lose 1-stop of light, therefore you will need fast glass to even use this. lenses of 2.8 aperture or wider is ideal. (But I’ll get to my conclusions later).

So after I installed this wondrous new focusing screen (note the sarcasm), I immediately put on in my macro lens and attempted to take a picture (Yes I shot that using manual focus).

And Wow…I must admit. There is a world of difference (Again, note the sarcasm). It is then that I finally realized the futility of my new expensive piece of plastic. Manual focusing, and thus, manual focus lenses are really supposed to be used by people who could actually SEE! Yes, people with don’t wear ginormous bottle cap glasses such as myself. People with better vision who could…for lack of a better term….Actually manually focus! Blind people, such as myself rely on newfangled computers to determine focus. Though I wonder if it means that video camera operators must have good or near perfect vision, because most higher end cameras are all fully manual focus only?

So, to conclude my review, all kidding aside. I think there is about a 15% to 20% increase in the clarity of the image for manual focusing. The Ec-S screen as neat as it is, may not be the most practical purchase because newer camera bodies these days offer live view. That is, it allow you to visually see what you are focusing on via the LCD with super precision. You can Optically zoom 10x and focus precisely. Even blind people like me can use live view to focus accurately. New technology has made this EC-S screen obsolete, in my opinion. I’ll keep the new ec-s on my camera for a bit to see how it performs during daylight conditions. My 1DII does not have live view, so I may decide to keep it. However, I have a sneaking suspicion it will go back into the box eventually, and perhaps I’ll put it up for sale for someone else to try =)

I’ve done something this morning that I’m ashamed to say haven’t done since High School (Well, aside from the one year I volunteered at a food bank for Thanksgiving). But I’ve essentially done nothing for the past 12 years.

There are many underlying reasons why one would take up the mantle to help out in a cause that’s greater than yourself. Some volunteer for a cause because they’ve lost loved ones. Some do it to pad their resumes or an gasp…some do it for truly altruistic purposes (However I think those people are more rare). My reason is entirely a selfish one. The recent discovery brain cancer in my dad was the catalyst. I make a good living, am healthy, have been blessed with great family and friends. I should at least make an effort to help out where I can to build good karma. There were many nice people who helped my father during his stay an the hospital. The theory is to try to do good, and in doing so, hopefully good will come back to me (in the form of good health for my dad). I don’t consider it as paying a debt, it’s more akin to paying it forward (Yes just like that movie with Haley Joel Osment).

Initially, I really wanted to volunteer for cancer or aids events, but they were all booked up in terms of volunteers. Luckily, the The National Multiple Sclerosis Society. still needed volunteers! I must admit, it was miserable to wake up at 5:30am, but once I got there, it was all good. I didn’t volunteer in a booth or to direct traffic. I’m not particularly good at manual labor (As my wife can attest), so naturally I opted to do what I do best. Which is taking pictures! Hopefully they’ll be able to use them in their marketing campaign to generate more funds and awareness for Multiple Sclerosis, which affects 2.1 million people.

I didn’t realize until after the fact, that this guy was wearing an SC shirt and giving me the ‘fight on’ symbol. I have a pretty myopic view from behind a 200mm lens, and things were going at a fairly fast paced, so haha I swear I didn’t single this guy out because he came from my alma mater!

This gentleman pretty much single-handedly raised almost 40 thousand dollars for the cause.

I took this opportunity to practice my panning technique. Essentially you slow the lens down, and pan with the subject to simulate movement. By panning, you keep up with the subject, and they will in theory be in ‘more’ focus than the background. So These were roughly at 1/15th of a second at F22. It takes a lot of practice to master, and I haven’t really had opportunities to try this technique until today!

Shamless plugs. Yeah it was interesting, they had a shot wish list, and sponsors were on top of the list. Which is understandable, they want the sponsors to be recognized so they would continue their sponsorships for future events. I tried shooting them in a way where it wasn’t blatantly obvious that I’m doing a shameless plug. It was an amusing challenge.

Ok this one is shameless. haha!

Over all I had a fantastic time. I wouldn’t mind having other volunteer opportunities. I think it would be interesting to go to retirement homes to take pictures of elderly people. Everyone wants to be loved or get some form attention. There’s nothing like a camera being aimed at you to make you feel somewhat important or recognized. Fleeting as it may appear, who knows, a single smile can do wonders.

There were other photogs at this event. It was interesting to see how other people worked. They were all clumped towards the starting line, or asked groups to say hi and cheer. The latter was never really my style so i chose to roam around. I think I clumped with a a few of them in front of the starting line, before I realized it was foolish. Why take the same shot as the guy next to you? To be unique, or get a different perspective. Be where other people aren’t! So lol, I walked down the street and got free reign of the street shots.

Now on to the boring details that boys care about!

I Used 2 cameras and (shockingly only brought two lenses). 1DMKIII and 1DMKII, with a 70-200IS, and a sigma 14mm. I didn’t even bother with a backpack! Just a satchel for snackies, and memory cards.
I’ve confirmed that I do indeed like wide angles, and they do have their purpose but the flare on this sigma makes it rather annoying, and I think I’m going to replace the lens as soon as I get enough funds for a Canon 14mm MKII. Since it began uber early, I gambled that I would have enough light to shoot. Clearly I would of lost, if it wasn’t for the ISO 2000 and above capabilities of the MKIII. But it was chilly, but these two bodies are built like tanks. I shot int he pouring rain once with them, so It was good to have peace of mind that the moisture in the air wouldn’t hurt the gear.

All the action shots were done in AI Focus. In hindsight, I should of brought my 200mm prime. The 70-200 is a fine lens, but for bikes that move quickly, focusing is essential, and since the zoom lens is a ad large, it is a bit slow to focus. Don’t get me wrong, it’s faster than the average bear, but nowhere near as fast as I need it to be. I’ve missed a few crucial shots because it couldn’t keep up.
The full Sets are on my Flickr account under the Natioal MS society Bike_Ride Collection.

Well, we took my dad to the ER this past Sunday. He lost motion/movement in his left extremities, so we thought it was just weak. Well, to be prudent, we just took him to the ER. Rather be safe than sorry. Lately he was complaining about his left eye, vision blurriness, etc. Well, once again, I guess it was a good call. Though thankfully this time, we got him in on his own volition, rather than rushing him in. Turns out after a few CAT scans and MRI’s, there are three tumors in his brain. One 3 centimeters, and the other two are rather small. I just met with the Dr tonight, and he’s going to go over my dad’s file and discuss options with the family tomorrow.

I don’t know, I think this time around, it still definitely sucks, but the sting isn’t as sharp as it was the first and second time around. The fact that he was literally at death’s doorstep, 9 months back was frightening and I think I mentally prepared for it (as much as I can). These extra 9 months has been fantastic, he was eating again, even went for walks. And driving my mom batty, which is always a good indicator of health. So we’re hopeful, and I’m waiting to see what the Dr’s think. Whether or not we should go for surgery, or rounds of chemo/radiation to stave off the bats in his belfry.

But yeah today, I met with the Dr. and as he was talking, I was thinking to myself. Wow, what a wonderful guy. He works clinic until 6, heads home to take care of some errands, then goes back to work at around 8 or 9 to do rounds in the hospital and reads files and cases. I mean, he has no life, and I think that’s a sign of a fantastic Dr. Just someone who genuinely has passion and cares. I almost feel guilty, as I want to bring that passion back into my work.

But I’ve been going to see him every day after work. Bringing a little recorder to record tidbits of conversations, and giving him plenty of kisses and love. So funny, I guess the tumors are affecting his memory. Some things he’ll lose, but others he’ll remember with such clarity. He asked me to re-write a song that I wrote when I was in the 2nd or third grade. Something about a mountain in the middle of the road…and the teacher gave me low marks because she thought it was impossible to have a mountain in the middle of the road. haha, I don’t even remember writing this, but I’m sure I have. Because it’s something I would do. So I guess I’ll try to re-write that song for him! =)